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The Twelve Days til Christmas

Miranda is a Primary Supply Teacher working in schools  through Protocol Education in Manchester. Here she provides us with some light relief for the last few days of the school term. Make sure you sing it out loud!

The Twelve Days ‘til Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my school job gave to me...

Anti-freeze but a flat battery

Not everything will go to plan in the frozen mornings before Christmas. You might be up and at em, but if your car detests the cold and if it’s a proper teacher’s car (ie. operating on sellotape and a prayer) you’re bound to have to spend at least one morning haemorrhaging your earnings whilst waiting for the AA to show up. 

2 Turtle Doves

Think back and I’m sure you’ll remember the fancying, kiss chasing and games of ‘torture’ that went on in Year 6. Watch out for ‘inappropriate’ festive behaviour in upper KS2 – mistletoe, games of consequences and giggling fits that could put the Dali Lama to shame. Probably best ignored…

3 Gold Blends

And the rest... whatever it takes to get you through the final weeks, days and hours until you’re toasting your chestnuts by an open fire accompanied by a rather large Teachers.

4 Calling Names

Oh, the  impossibly gothic twists and turns of the arguments of Year 4 girls on an average wet playtime. You would need a crack team of Hercule Poirot, Dan Browne and Morse to begin to get to the bottom of who did what to who and whether or not it was fair on them.

5 Gove rings...

You up at home and offers you a 24-caret agreement that he will no longer mess with the curriculum and from now on its his new year’s resolution to let us all get on with what we’re good at - in your dreams…

6 Geese a-laying

Apparently this line of the song refers to the six days of creation. And that is exactly what you’re going to have to pull off in the final week before breaking up for Xmas. If you are in school, you’ll be working your craft fingers to the bone, pulling festive ideas out of the bag to keep everyone occupied and out from under the feet of the nativity cast.   

7 Staff rooms a-swimming

In massive shiny tins of Roses,  mince pies, mini-bites, Quality Quality Quality Street, Krispy Kreme and Heroes. Eat, drink and feel incredibly ill by lunchtime.

8 Supply teachers for milking

Hands up supply teachers, if you’ve ever found yourself in the hall for some reason, rehearsing carols with the entire infant school; sitting in the staff room alone as the ‘team’ head out for a Chrimbo meal at the pub; humbly pretending to text as the ‘team’ roars over the antics of the Secret Santa; in charge of an entire day’s worth of fun Christmas-free activities for a tiny island of non-believers stuck  in the midst of an entire school high on Santa?

9 Dinner Ladies Dancing

It is a fact universally acknowledged that dinner ladies dance to Radio 1/2 while preparing the school Christmas dinner. Rocking around the Christmas Tree, Slade, Last Christmas, you name it, those feet will be moving to it, and the cheesier the better (the songs, not the feet of course).

10 Lives for Living

They say cats have nine lives but we teachers would surely need ten to try and cram in all that we’re expected to do at home and in school in the run up to Christmas. See Kev Payne’s cartoon on the TES for reassurance that you’re not on your own in trying to tightrope the pressures of home and working life in these tough times. See cartoon here

11 Posters Posting

Online is where it’s at for tips, ideas and insights into all thing pedagogic - from how to set up a soil experiment and learning through real-world contexts to exactly how much an NQT may earn after tax and full student loan (not a lot).

12 Supply teachers drumming up trade for the New Year.

Thank everyone you see, smile, smile and seasonally greet. January is the cruellest month, and before the ice has thawed, you could be back in that lovely school  with the twinkly yet steely TA who has worked there for 29 years and knows where everyone lives.

Happy Christmas everyone!

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Tags: Miranda, Protocol-Education, Teaching, Christmas, Twelve, Songs,

Category: Australian Teachers

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