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Inner Monologue of Sleep

Samantha is a Secondary drama teacher and is currently in a long term role in East London. In her debut blog, she shares an insight into battle between her mind and body in the morning. 

Last night I awoke several times, moving and turning, covers off then covers on, apparently something was disturbing my subconscious. Upon rising I struggled to lift the fog that twisted through my mind, the time and day were just beyond my reach. With a gasp of breath I realise that the GCSE drama exams are Friday, not today and it is in fact only Tuesday. It was however 7.30am and I would be late if I did not move swiftly. A strong coffee, hot shower and a blasting radio station and I am happily awake and on my way to work.  Despite having had less than five hours of less than satisfying sleep I was fully ready for the day ahead. I have the joy of teaching a practical subject and regardless of sleep deprivation I know the active nature of my day will get me through until 3.05pm. That and many, many cups of tea!

What bothers me most in regards to teaching and sleep is the not when I am in a long term placement as I am at the moment, but when I am waiting for an early morning phone call for instructions on when and where I shall be teaching.

I will fight with myself every morning upon hearing the alarm sing its rude tune to my ears,

“Just five more minutes in bed” my body whispers to me.

“No! Your phone will be ringing with a booking any minute” responds my logical brain.

The fight between needing sleep and wanting a day’s work is a constant battle that happens every morning for this supply teacher. The added unknowing nature of the work itself adds weight to this argument.
What if you don’t like the school? You could just stay in bed instead, but what if it’s a brilliant school and they ask you back for a long term booking?

“I love sleep, my life has a tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” – Ernest Hemingway

The second part of this inner monologue each morning is the not wanting to offend or annoy your protocol booker. Knowing they could have called someone else, but that it is your phone that is ringing right now holds massive power in dragging me towards the waking part of my day.

So every morning I begin a persuasion with myself, if you get up now, I will buy you a nice breakfast on the way to school. Or the most common, just get through today and I promise I will go to bed early tonight. Which of course we all know never happens, because you just have to see the end of the movie, or that last chapter of the book was just enticing that you could not resist finishing it.

The cycle continues until the weekend when you either sleep in until 2pm and miss half the day and then cannot sleep in the evening, causing a destructive pattern for Monday morning. Or you wake up at 7am regardless that it’s Saturday and end up in bed by 9pm with absolutely no Saturday night plans that could possibly be more fun than sleeping to entice you away from eight solid hours of dreaming.

If only we had three days in a weekend, although I guess I could always take Monday off...

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Tags: Samantha, Bromley, Secondary, drama, sleep, teacher, supply, battles, self

Category: Australian Teachers

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